I’m sitting down, determined to write tonight. And I’m scratching my head, trying to think of a topic to write on, and words to express it in. Nothing’s coming to mind. And that suddenly takes me back in time. Back to when I was a young student and I had to prepare for, and write, dozens of exams every year. And it always went the same way….
I would study for weeks, reading thick books, full of information that was neither interesting nor easy to remember. I would go through the material, take notes, try to soak up the knowledge on the pages. Only to forget it all, as soon as the leaf was turned. Days later, in the exam room, I would stare at the question in front of me, without the slightest idea as to what the answer is. Drawing a blank, I think they call it, yes?
Yet, I always got myself out of it, doing something that I neither understood nor could explain. I would sit back in my chair, close my eyes for a few minutes and not think of anything. No desperate searching for the right words, no frantic attempt to remember what I had read just days ago. Just sit, in silence, eyes closed. And then I’d let my imagination go back. Back to the day when I read the exact passages and pages I need to remember right now. Seeing myself in my mind’s eye with book in hand, paging through, reading those exact sentences. And I’d let my mind wander and think freely, starting a silent discussion in my head, as if I’m in a hall full of students and I’m the one lecturing them on the subject at hand.And then I would open my eyes, and put pen to paper, and pour out everything that comes back to me. No strain, no hesitation. It’s like I’m taking dictation in my head and all I have to do is transcribe it.
I did this every time, and every time I passed with highest marks. And even stranger than that, I would read my paper again and realise I had written things I didn’t even know I knew, things I couldn’t remember reading to begin with.Later on, when I started dabbling in the world of metaphysics, mysticism, meditation and even quantum physics, I found the explanation for this wondrous phenomenon. I understand now how and why it was possible to do the things I did.
You see, our mind is a phenomenal thing. On conscious level we can be a complete klutz, failing to remember where we put our keys five minutes ago or what we had for lunch yesterday. But our subconscious never sleeps, never stops soaking up and recording everything we ever see, hear, touch, smell, taste or feel. It knows everything, because it remembers everything. It can remind us how we felt on that Sunday morning when mom made us that breakfast, and how the kitchen smelled and how warm the plate of food in from of us was. Or where we saw a book in a shop window years ago, while on a trip abroad. Or how to breathe, how to walk, what songs make us cry. We don’t think for a minute how to do these things. They just happen.
When we close our eyes, take few deep breaths and let go of our thoughts, we let in, or let through, something entirely different. A force, an energy that sparks the creation of music and books, of paintings and sculptures. It helps us make decisions, otherwise impossible to figure out. It guides us to do and be more than we ever were before. There are many names for it. Many attempts to define it and describe it. We are in the zone, Things flow, Divine inspiration, Intuition, Inner voice, Guiding light – it doesn’t matter the name you attach to it. We all know what it is, when it comes and how it makes us feel.
Athletes will tell you, they go out onto the field and let the force flowing through them guide them to make that jump, run that fast or make that shot. Writers will say, it feels like their hand is gliding across the paper, scribbling the words without even managing to read them. I think it was Johann Sebastian Bach who once said “The music arrives in my head, already fully composed. And it flows so fast, my hand barely manages to write it down”.
We tend to think it’s only the great creators of things that get divinely inspired. We, mere mortals, we have to be humble and acknowledge our shortcomings. And achieve everything through effort and hard work. Forgive me, but that is nothing but a meme. We all have the potential to tap into that infinite source of inspiration and let it flow through us and guide us to be more than we could ever dream of being. Our cultural conditioning is the only thing that stops us. In mystery schools they have a term, from Greek – skotomas. The blocks and bricks that make up the wall that we put around ourselves. Within that wall is everything we think we know, everything we’re comfortable and familiar with. It keeps us safe, we don’t have to think what’s out there. But as safe as we are, we are keeping our minds in a prison. For out there, there exists the endless, boundless, eternal light. The energy that makes and shapes and moves everything. And if we want to break the mould and fly, we need to take those bricks down, one by one. Challenge ourselves, think the unthinkable, do the impossible. And open up more and more to that light.
I’m not a religious person in the conventional sense of the word, but I do believe wisdom comes in many forms and from many sources. Paging through the Bible once, I found these words “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me” (Revelation 3:20).
That knock on the door, it’s for each and everyone of us. We don’t need to toil to find the light, it is always there. All we have to do is answer and open the door. And let it in.
Until next time, love and light!