The first seven… or how to raise a hater

The first seven years are critical for any child’s upbringing, so they say. This is the time to teach the child to walk, talk, think and basically, make him or her human. So they say. This is also the time to form their values and opinion on general matters. The time to plant the seed of love or hate as inherent attribute to their personality. In other words, to make your child a lover or a hater. It’s all your responsibility anyway. And fault.

Yesterday, I attended a social event that often provokes strong feelings (both positive and negative) and seldom indifference. An event particularly concerning sexual freedom. Yeah, that’s right: a pride parade. So I had the chance to see two different types of upbringing – one child holding a sign with an insulting phrase directed to gay people, and another one, brought to the parade by her open-minded mother. Both children, of nearly the same age, had a totally different facial expression. The first, holding the sign, looked so much like a grown-up – that angry and judging look could make any adult hater proud. The other one was walking freely, holding her mother’s hand, smiling and enjoying the love in the air. That ostensible contrast at that early age got me thinking. The first child will certainly grow up to be a natural born hater. She will never accept people different than her. She will never learn to understand those, who fall beyond the frame of her own mindset. And God forbid, one of her children happened to be gay, she’d probably never speak to them again and forget they even existed. The other girl, on the other hand, will probably grow up to be at least as open-minded as her own mother. She will naturally accept all people, who are not like her. She’ll always promote freedom and support human rights. And if one day any of her friends or family comes out, she’d pat them on the back, congratulating them for the courage to be honest.

In brief, it’s all up to you to make your kid a lover or a hater, but if you insist on pursuing the latter, then here’s what to do. First, start by telling them how people with different sexual preferences are no good. Then explain that this relation is not normal and Mother Nature explicitly proves that. Gay people can’t possibly reproduce, right? There you go. This is unnatural. On every possible occasion you have to tell your infant child that those people, who are attracted to people of the same sex or have sexual intercourse with them are pure evil. That they were sent by Satan himself to test our human will and values. And by no means, give your child the opportunity to make their own decision. You are the parent, you know better. Time and time again, you must emphasize on the harm “those wicked people” bring to humanity. Tell your kid that homosexuality is actually a sin, a disease so bad that it’s contagious, so your child must never get anywhere near such riff-raff. Your kid has no other chance but believe you. You are the Super Authority after all. And when one fine day they get a friend, who is apparently not straight, you must not, I repeat, must not allow them to be friends, ever. Instead, you must do your best to discontinue all contact immediately, so your precious infant never has any gay friends. That would be such a shame! You, Mr. Adult Hater, have all the power in your hands to teach your child everything life has taught you – that is, to name a few, different people have no rights whatsoever (and as far as you’re concerned, they never will), they could never marry and have a normal family like you would, they could never love each other as any straight couple would, and of course, they could never have children. Basically, teach your child to live your lie as long as possible. Only then you can rest assured that you have successfully brainwashed your offspring and they will too, in turn, brainwash the generation to come.

Or… you could take another path. You could teach your children that it doesn’t matter who you love. It doesn’t matter if they’re black or white, orange or blue, catholic or protestant, Jewish or Muslim. It doesn’t matter where and how their object of desire lives. All that matters is how big is the sacrifice they’re willing to make for the sake of love. But teach them wisely, because sadly enough, prejudice does win sometimes. That’s why it is so important to give children a chance. A chance to make their own mind, a chance to decide for themselves, rather than inheriting the mindset of their parents. That’s why you should give your children the freedom to learn from experience, rather than only providing them with your own. And that’s why a new generation with a new mindset is more crucial now than ever before. After all, soul has no sex. Neither has love.

When you feel the way you don’t want to feel

Feelings are tricky, no doubt. Maybe the trickiest of all human attributes. Triggered by various emotions, they can also be overwhelming to the point where you totally lose control. Over your reaction to the particular situation, but more importantly, the outcome. And whether expressed as fear, aggression, anxiety, despair, disappointment, frustration, or just blind rage, feelings could easily bring us to the very edge of sanity unless we pay close attention. But of course, we seldom do that anyway.

Realistically speaking, in most cases there isn’t much to do about how you feel. Maybe somebody has hurt you deeply and you want nothing but vengeance. Maybe somebody’s lying to you and you’ve just found out. Maybe your partner is cheating on you and you’re jealous. Or maybe somebody just gets on your nerves by breathing in the same room. Whatever the case, it ain’t easy to tame the beast within, once set free. Depending on your personality, you can either let all hell break loose and shoot to kill or suffer endlessly in silence. In fact, neither one helps. For if you directly attack the person who has inflicted your pain, you might hurt them more than expected (and in ways you’ll probably never know) and very likely, you’ll regret it later. On the other hand, silent suffering has the potential to eventually kill you. Literally and on all levels. When faced with a negative feeling and not willing to deal with the issue, oversensitive people tend to bury it as deep as possible. They push it through that Feelings door, somewhere in the gloomy dungeon of their subconsciousness, slam the rusty door and lock it three times just to make sure, shamming that feeling never aroused in the first place. But sadly enough, pretending the feeling isn’t there won’t make it disappear. It will stay buried within, waiting for the next time the emotional trigger shows up. So what to do? Eliminate the trigger.

This is not an easy task, I know. And rather frustrating too because when feelings come, they don’t normally give us a 14-day prior notice, so we could prepare in peace for what is to come. Sometimes situations just hit us, denuded and exposed, eagerly expecting our reaction. Now, any real Zen Master would keep their countenance, no matter the circumstances, but we ain’t no zen master. At least, not all the time. So what to do when storm hits? First, avoid trying to escape the feeling. It’s not really possible to not feel the way you feel. You can’t really tell your heart to stop breaking and get a grip. You are the one to get a grip. So as hard as it might seem, try to acknowledge the negative feeling. Don’t reject it. Don’t blame yourself for how you feel. There’s nothing you can do about it but accept it. If you’re having some issues on the love front, for instance, that might make you feel sad, rejected, and lonely. It might even result in you doubting yourself or your worthiness, provoking inferiority, bitterness, and depression. Any kind of betrayal hurts, yes, but ask yourself: “Who is really hurting now? My being or my feelings?” A simple, but also tricky question. Remember that we mainly hurt when our ego is affected, when we feel insulted and betrayed. Betrayal means that somebody doesn’t acknowledge our worthiness or fails to act the way we think they are supposed to act. How dare they?! We feel alienated, often raging in an attempt to prove we’re actually worthy in the eyes of others. But you know what? It doesn’t really matter. If you give it a thought, you’d see that our ego is rarely satisfied and that lack of inner satisfaction, among others, leads to shame, confusion, and discourage.

In short, when the feeling hits, look at it right into the eye. Accept its presence and take a few minutes to analyze it. Avoid speaking or acting. Just observe. Split the feeling into bits and pieces and try to find its real source. Do you feel intimidated? Does your ego hurt due to rejection? Are you afraid of something? And if yes, from what? Take the time to look at the situation as objectively as possible. Finding the source is half the battle. Acceptance is the other half.

But most of all, don’t feel ashamed if you feel sad, confused, unsettled, or jealous. You are who you are and there’s nothing right or wrong with feelings. You are the only one who could label them, but why would you even want to? Feeling grateful or resentful doesn’t necessarily make you a good or a bad person. Plus, at the end of the day, emotions are well-known for their transient nature. Sometimes they make us happy, and sometimes they make us furious. Our reaction, however, depends totally on our own choice and the level of our current development. It’s very unlikely you cried because your toy truck has broke as you would when you were five. And perhaps, you won’t probably cheat on your partner now, because you know how much it hurts to be on the other side. And perhaps, you’ll get to the point of wishing your colleague well for getting that promotion instead of you (if not already). In any case, you can’t run away or hide from your feelings and it’s rather naïve to believe you could. They are only there to remind you that you are human, for better or worse. So, accept your feelings exactly as they are, not a bit more, not a bit less. And don’t let them take the lead, you are in charge. So grab the wheel and keep driving towards that better version of yourself.

Namasté!

Conspiracy Theory

… or how you don’t get what you want.

Aspirations and dreams form a fundamental part of our lives. We all have something to strive for, aspire to, and truly desire. It might be something big or small, important or not, personal or not really, but whatever that is, it is there. That natural aptitude for dreaming and setting goals is deeply rooted in our human DNA. As is the disappointment from not getting that one thing that you really, really want. It may be that promotion you long for, your own house, or the love of that one special person, who keeps ignoring you as if you don’t even exist.

Whatever the case, failing to make our dreams come true is a bitter experience, leaving us down and disheartened. Eventually, we let despair get us and give up on our dreams and whenever that happens, we tend to blame the whole world, the Universe, God, or the people around us for that failure, rarely turning inwards or being aware of what the real reason behind that is. As I’ve said time and time again on this blog, any and all reasons are to be looked for on the inside and never on the outside. Regardless of your particular situation, you have all reasons and all answers inside of you. And you know them all. Always, no exclusions. There is not even one instance when you don’t know. You just choose not to. Whether or not you’d be courageous enough to see that truth, that’s another story. But if for some reason you don’t get what you want or what you think you want, next time you might want to try out a different approach to make that happen.

Let’s say, for instance, you want that promotion. You’re working hard, you’re doing your best, but it still wouldn’t happen. You see your colleagues succeeding on that path and even getting more money for the same job than you do. That could be really frustrating. You’re wondering where you went wrong, asking yourself what more could you do and finally telling yourself that you’re not good enough. Now, acceptance and resignation would normally be considered beneficial, but at the end of the day, accepting your failure brings no consolation. Then, what to do? First, stop believing in some universal conspiracy. Nobody and nothing in this world (or any other, for that matter) wants you to fail. There is no evil God, punishing you for your sins. There is no Universe that wants you miserable. And if somebody in your surrounding has something against your success… well, that’s their problem, not yours. Realize that life is not happening to you. You make life happen, every moment of every day you breathe. So get rid of that it-is-all-against-me attitude already! That might be one of the reasons impeding your success. Second, ask yourself if that is what you really want. This is another significant reason why things wouldn’t happen the way we want them to. We may want it, but it may not be that good for us as we once thought. But often we realize that too late. Mostly, when we get what we wanted and we’re still not happy. We might think that this job, particular thing, or partner, are right for us. But what if this is not the case? What if you’re struggling to achieve something all ways you can, but to no avail. Think. As objectively as you can. “Is this what I really want? Is it to my benefit to get that? Am I acting in line with my design?” Chances are, that was not what you came here for. Maybe the design was different. Maybe you were intended for a different purpose. Maybe this wasn’t the life plan you drafted before you came on Earth. So, theoretically, it might not be good for you to get that job or promotion. Maybe you’d work too much, losing the intended direction. That gift or talent you were born with would remain just a seed inside of you, while you should rather water it and help it grow.

Let’s take another example. You want to buy that house, but you can’t. You’d do anything, but you won’t get it. Whatever you do, there’s always something in the way and you just can’t understand why. Is it Fate? Is it Karma? Is it God? You don’t know, but you keep trying. But think of it this way: What if there was a flood or an earthquake in the design that would destroy your life after you settle down in that dream house of yours? What if you’d be unhappy there? What if you were meant to live in another country in complete satisfaction and peace? Or say that you’re hopelessly in love with someone, but they don’t love you back. You could turn the world around, take all the stars out of the sky for them, nothing would change. You find yourself miserable and brokenhearted, but you never know what you’re winning by losing, right? They might be unfaithful, self-centered, and you’d finally realize you weren’t meant to be. Years later. So why get frustrated for something that is actually to your benefit? Ask your soul and listen. If that’s what you really want deep down in your heart, then go for it, keep trying. But if not, accept it and move on. Make another plan. Invent another dream. And if it doesn’t come true, consider all possibilities and never assume anything as a failure. Because it’s not. Never forget that there is a greater design, where you play your part, one way or the other. All you have to do is just listen to that inner voice and watch out for the answers. Sometimes they are subtle and not that easy to recognize, but if you ask, you’ll definitely get an answer. So dream. Never stop dreaming, but always trust that your soul knows better. Trust universal wisdom. Have faith that you’ll always get all you need to grow and nothing less.

The social trap

 

Now, I’m pretty much aware that this is generally a positive blog. As I know that it’s normally full of optimism and happy thoughts, but this time all Dear Readers shall have to excuse me, for hell’s breakin’ loose. But for all the good reasons.

This article is intended for all silly, empty-headed, idly wandering occupants of all social media that man has created. But unfortunately, they won’t be here to read it, because they are all so busy striking a pose for their virtual lives. What is wrong with you people? Don’t you have a life, besides posting, commenting, hating online? Like, a real life? Does it really matter how many likes you will get or how many friends you have online? It apparently does to you. Thumbs-down is all you’ll ever get from me on that one, because I really can’t get it. This is insane.

There are people whose main purpose in life is to stay online on Facebook, just so they don’t miss a post update or, God forbid, the breaking news that the Apocalypse has come. God forbid, that happened and they haven’t posted their final words or at least their will! There are people, who don’t even use their own pictures for profile pictures, and yet they have the balls to comment or even criticize someone else’s. There are people, who don’t even have their own opinion, and yet they dare flaying people who have one. There are people, who visit popular places for the sole purpose of tagging themselves. And there are people, who see nothing wrong in letting the whole world know of their love relationships, break-ups, getting back together and so on. There are also people, who wouldn’t have a meal unless they post it on Instagram first. Or tweet it on Twitter. Come on! Is that all you got?!

Posting joyful selfies, while you’re staying alone at home. Being tagged with a friend, happy, drinking at some bar. Boasting online about your last purchase of the best smartphone there ever was or how you’re planning to go to The Bahamas this Christmas. But are your friends aware of the fact that this cute selfie took about 50 self-degrading shots that you prudently deleted? Do they know that you don’t even speak to that friend, who tagged you anymore, because he or she fucked up. Do they even suspect that the meal you posted on Insta was either barely good enough for the garbage bin or you didn’t even make it on your own? And would you ever admit to yourself that considering you’re struggling to pay the rent, that picture of The Bahamas will be the closest to The Bahamas you’ll ever get.

No. Because you’re living the lie. And bragging about it. What’s more, you’re living it 24-7-365. Playing happy, while trying to deal with your own shit. Is that what you call a life? Words can’t describe how sorry I am for all of you out there.

But for the record, don’t get me wrong. I am not the average hater. I happen to be one of the billion users of all social media mentioned above. I have accounts on them all. And more often then not, I’m asking myself what to hell I’m doing there. There’s nothing new to read. There’s nothing new to learn. There’s nothing I’ve never seen before. A thousand times already. Today. All I see is people reposting somebody else’s thoughts, somebody else’s dreams, somebody else’s life. Or shit. But what about you? How many people on your Facebook friend list do you actually know? How many of them actually engaged in a real conversation with you? Had coffee or dinner with? Not many, I guess. Still, you’re patting yourself on the back so hard that you have friends. But guess what? In most cases, you don’t. How many of them will answer the phone if you need them? Provided that you have their number, of course. How many would listen to your truths, instead of gladly commenting on your lies. And no doubt, the major part of your list remembers pretty well how many times you broke up with your boyfriend or how many times your dog shit today. Do you even know what private life is? Do you even care? Nope. Not even a bit. You prefer to waste your time online to comment things you don’t really understand, to post stuff that you’ve never been through, or just hang out there. Just in case you’re needed. To hate, attack, and boost your tiny egos. Because that’s what it means to you. Social media bring purpose to your miserable life. Finding faults with someone else’s manner of writing, opinion, or social position, now that gives you a real meaning. A deep one, too. It gives you a direction. It makes you feel important, because hiding behind your profile, lets you forget about all of your own failures. At least, you imagine it to be so. That makes you feel like you can escape from your own misery. But here’s a trick. It won’t. You won’t ever find your true self hiding behind your sarcastic or offensive comments. Or posts. Or even stickers. Whatever the case may be.

There you go again. Checking your phone if something new came up. Did somebody text you? Did someone post or comment, or some topic needs your urgent involvement? Stop it! You are addicted to a world that doesn’t even exist. It’s not even real. And that addiction makes you blind. It makes you deaf. But your own sick world of earned appreciation will remain a costly illusion as long as you’re hiding behind that screen. Because the world is not in your pocket. The world is not on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. The world is out there, happening, while you’re missing all of it. So for heaven’s sake, turn off that phone and get a life!

Step into self-healing

No pain, no gain? Come on! Pain is an illusion, but still, feeling it is a horrible thing. Physical pain can be extremely exhausting and frustrating. You might have the most positive attitude to life in general, but when pain calls, you often have no other option but scream and shout in the receiver. Because when you are in pain, all your positive thoughts happen to be left far behind. Your mind is so blurred that you can’t even think straight. Grumpy and mordant, all hell breaks loose around that hurting you. Well, at least, more often than not, that’s my case. And considering the fact I don’t get quite along with painkillers and all that chemistry, I used to suffer and wait for the pain to go away on its own, which, I must admit, was a bit too challenging at times. However, quiet suffering is not the only way to deal with pain. And rather pointless, for that matter. I recently discovered how powerful human mind can be. And used along with human will (yet another powerful tool), there is no such thing as unhealable wound. So why suffer?

The first step towards healing, of course, is to identify the cause. Identifying the source is the only way you could deal with physical pain. And that’s even more relevant when it’s not about pain that is due to particular physical activity, such as in occupational diseases. For example, if you spend too much time on the PC, it’s rather likely you’d suffer from tendovaginitis or harm your vision at some point. But when pain is not directly related to your daily activities, it has been found out that physical issues are often related to emotional or mental problems. Feeling despair, powerlessness and lack of success could result in an abscess. Allergies could express internal conflict you might experiencing. Arthritis could show that maybe you are too self-critical or consider yourself too selfish. And if your arms hurt, for instance, you might be experiencing doubt in your ability or usefulness. The list goes on and on, but you have to start somewhere. So, first of all, assess your situation and dig deep to find the real cause of your pain. Even if you can’t really tell the reason of your suffering, it’s always possible to influence it and improve your health condition. And besides focusing on the usual suspects in terms of physical health – living and eating healthy, and ensuring enough physical activity – you also need to find the time to work on your spiritual health. This, among others, can be achieved through a number of meditation and breathing practices. Here I’d like to emphasize that you, being all in all nothing but divine energy, have the power to make everything alright. Be it in your physical reality, or in your spiritual world, you have the ability and capacity to make miracles happen. You don’t believe it? Well, do! Have some faith, will ya? Plus, I wouldn’t lie to our faithful blog followers, would I? So, start by believing that anything is possible and you are the genuine miracle-maker in your life.

Let me give you a simple example on how to deal with pain. Physical or mental, it makes no difference, the approach is all the same. Sit down and meditate. (Yes, as simple as that.) Take a few deep breaths and feel physical relaxation, emotional calm, and mental stillness. In your head, go to a peaceful scene that makes you feel calm, relaxed, and safe. Then pick a sankalpa. That is, a concept or notion, coming from the bottom of your heart. The sankalpa should set and express your deepest intention on what you want to achieve with this practice. For example: “I am healthy”, “I am free of pain”, or “I am healing”. Repeat it at least three times, saying the words out loud, quietly to yourself, or hear them as a thought. Whatever the case may be, say it like you mean it. It is very important that you believe what you’re saying, so use the greatest emotional input you’re capable of. The more you believe, the sooner you’ll achieve the desired results.

Now visualize your body and locate the pain. See it clearly, feel it in full. Dive into it. Then feel compassion to yourself for all that suffering. Open your heart by focusing on your Heart Chakra and visualizing a light green light. Feel that sacred love you have for yourself spreading all over your body. Take a few moments to feel peaceful and loved unconditionally. Afterwards, direct that energy to the place where you feel the pain. Inhale from the Heart Chakra and exhale from the painful place, seeing the pain materializing as a dark cloud of particles, passing through your skin and dissolving completely in the air. Let go of the pain and feel the relief. Keep breathing like that in and out, keep visualizing. See wounds healing, feel the pain going away, see yourself healthy and happy. It might take some time, but you will surely feel the difference. Do this practice every morning and every evening or whenever pain starts to bother you during the day.

You may also use this practice to heal emotional wounds. Take account of your issue. Try to see the situation as objectively as possible, free of guilt and accusations. It’s all an illusion after all, it’s all in your head, so accept others and yourself just the way that you are, nothing more and nothing less. Then let go of the emotional blockages that back you down and impede you from advancing. It is what it is, right? Yes. Until you change it. So you either do so or try to make the most out of it. Just make sure you take the time to work on the respective issue and you’ll see the situation changing every day for the better. Namasté.

The key to happiness

If you ask someone what they want from life, they’d probably say “I want to be happy”. If not already rich, of course. Otherwise, they would probably say they want to be wealthy. 🙂 Along with health and wealth, happiness has become some chimerical aspiration that seems so hard to get. But what is happiness? What does it mean to be happy? Is it to feel good right here, right now, no matter what or it takes some effort?

Both, I’d say. As I see it, happiness is a state of mind. In fact, this is the natural state of the soul. Feeling good is not some unattainable illusion, but sometimes it indeed seems hard to find. And it is so, because more often than not people have the tendency to look for it on the outside. We somehow believe some external factor could make us happy – be it some particular circumstance, a dream come true, a situation long awaited for, or another person. Most of us believe something else would make us happy. Buried deep under the daily routine, earning a living, struggling in our own unique way, we tend to forget that our soul doesn’t need anything. All of your wishes and dreams, all of your ambition and aspiration are in fact a product of our conscious mind. Soul needs nothing. It doesn’t need money, a successful career, a big house, or even a partner. All you have to do is look inwards, rather than search for the Truth everywhere else.

There are people, who are always complaining. There are people, who are always grumpy, discontented and unhappy. They never seem to find the reason to feel good, because “Life is a bitch”, “It all sucks”, or “I never get what I want”. Nothing’s ever good enough for them. On the other hand, there are people, who appear to be happy by default. Just like that and without much effort. They are always smiling, regardless of the circumstances. These people don’t take life too seriously. They don’t seem to need other people to make them feel good. But what makes the difference? The overall approach to life. Your mindset makes all the difference. Getting to that happy place is not at all that hard. And if happiness is what you want, but you don’t seem to manage getting there right now, I’ll give you a few clues to guide you.

First of all, you need to do a thorough reconsideration of your life. A positive one. Start by counting your blessings. You might not realize it, but you’re probably luckier than most people around you. You surely have a shelter and food on the table. You probably have friends and family to be grateful for. So here’s your starting point. Make a mental list of all your positive qualities that make you who you are today. Give credit to yourself. After all, there’s only one you out there. Then add everything that you have for the time being that you are thankful for. Your health, job, opportunities and so on. Because you are indeed lucky. For there are people, who constantly live in very poor circumstances – war, hunger, humiliation and oppression. While you are reading this, children are dying in the arms of their mothers and people are struggling to have something to eat. Millions of people are suffering right now somewhere on Earth for various reasons and if you’re not one of them, you already have all reasons to feel good. So, why don’t you? Because you want more? Because it’s never enough? Remember, all you see around is an illusion. It is all fake. Life is a scene and we all play our part, but none of this is really happening. So stop looking for happiness around you. Stop making such a big deal out of everything. As long as you occupy this body, you mind will always be there to tell you there’s more to it. Don’t listen. You don’t need this or that to be happy. You already are. Don’t take anything too seriously for you’re only here for a while. Whatever issues you might have right now, it’s only temporary. It’s nothing but a phase and sooner or later, it will be over. So don’t let yourself hurt too much. It’s all an experience, good or bad, it’s nothing but experience. And know that whatever you’re fighting against right now, it will pass. If you have any health issues, for example, it’s all in your hands to make it all alright. First, by having the proper attitude, and then, by working on your discipline. Your body is an instrument, never forget that. And if you treat it well, it will certainly pay you back. Meditate, eat healthy, go out in nature, work out. Stop poisoning yourself and make this life count. Truth is, you don’t need that much to feel good as you think. Just stop for a moment and look around you. Life is beautiful and there are so many things to be joyful for. Isn’t it so that a child, the sun, nature, or beautiful music would make you smile? Follow your dreams, but be aware that you don’t really need anything. And if for some reason, you don’t get what you want, know that there’s a reason for that. A good reason. Find the joy in the smallest things and do your best to make every day count. And once and for all, stop worrying. About anything whatsoever. If there’s something you can do about it, then do it. If not, well… acceptance is a good manner to deal with everything that gets in the way.

Remember, happiness is a choice. It is already there, inside of you. Your soul is nothing but pure wisdom, light, and peace. You already have everything you need to be happy, so reach out to it. To the inside. This is the key. Just choose to be happy. And as the song goes, “Don’t worry, be happy now…”

Shower meditation

As you know, there are many types of meditation. Buddhist meditation, Vipassana meditation, mindfulness meditation, OM meditation, yoga meditation, chakra meditation, and breathing meditation, to name a few. You have a great variety to choose from depending on what you need or want to achieve by practicing meditation.

However, finding the time to actually sit down and meditate is sometimes a great challenge. Nonetheless, you could always use little tricks to get you calm and relaxed no matter where you are and what you’re doing, so take a few minutes to recharge. Now, meditation is in essence based on controlling your ever-wandering conscious mind and stepping back from your thoughts. If you can manage to do that only for a while, you’ll certainly feel the difference. So let’s say you’re traveling. You could always use the travel time to calm down your mind by using a simple mantra. Mantra could be a simple sentence or affirmation, or basically any phrase that is repeated again and again. For example, it could be “I am calm” or “I am strong”, or “I am happy”. Or even a phrase like “The sky is blue”. Any phrase would do if repeated enough. But I’ll take a closer look at the power of mantras in one of the following articles. Right now, I’d like to suggest a type of meditation, that is both simple and effective. Most of us find it difficult to take an hour for proper meditation and that’s where shower meditation would come handy.

So, how to do it? Well, first of all start with getting in the shower. 🙂

Make the water as warm or cold as you prefer and take a few moments to enjoy it. Water is an unimaginable force, but you already know that. This is the power of life, so imagine that power pouring all over you. Visualize a shower of warm light covering your body all over. Imagine this great power cleaning your thoughts, gradually emptying your head from all thoughts. Visualize darker spots all over your body, representing your fatigue, anxiety, troubles, worries, doubts, uncertainty, and even physical pain. If a certain body part hurts, imagine how that shower of light makes the pain go away down the drain. Generally see all negativity washed away, leaving you light and clean. After that initial soul cleansing, start the recharging phase. See that pleasant and nourishing light coming out of the shower head penetrating every single pore of your skin, charging you with energy, strength, and power. Feel that energy filling you up just like an empty glass or a sand watch. Now’s the time to add a mantra to help you switch on the happiness button in your mind. Pick one or a few at your choice and repeat as many times as you want to. Personally, I use a powerful set of phrases I made up myself. You can use any or all of them, or a completely different one, if you wish. It’s all up to you. Mine go like this:

“I am the Universe and the Universe is me.

I am the Power and the Power is me.

I am the Light and the Light is me.

I am the Love and the Love is me.

I open myself to Universal wisdom.

I open myself to Universal power.

I open myself to Universal healing.”

Now, I know this might sound a bit stilted, but I definitely feel that wisdom, power, and healing spreading all over my whole being while I repeat these phrases. Being aware that you form indeed a significant part of the Universe and that you have the genuine source of power, knowledge and wisdom inside of you, opens the door to all these and could only do you good. So use the mantras mentioned above or choose one of your own depending on your situation. Listen to your inner Self and you’ll hear what will work best for you and it will. Just make sure to include the “I am…” part. This is the most powerful mantra of them all. Using this mantra creates self-confidence, brings inner peace and eventually results in that mantra projecting into your own reality.

In conclusion, I know that you are busy. We all are. And I know that you’re joggling through life with a number of tasks and duties all at once. But you could always invest a few minutes in your inner peace and I assure you that the positive results will be definitely worth it. Now, how about a shower? 🙂

Money makes the world go round

 

It does! Seriously! Who could dare to deny it? This is a well-known fact. Irrespective of that, money remains the apple of discord for the majority of good souls around due to their conviction that money is somehow incompatible with goodness. Well, this is not much of a surprise since we’ve been taught from a very young age that money is bad. Money is evil! Wanting money is greedy! You’re not supposed to have money (let alone, want it) because money is wicked. Money spoils people, it brings out the very worst of them, making them greedy, arrogant, and selfish. Plus, you can’t have happiness and money at the same time. You have to choose. But why choose? Is it really that bad to have money? It brings such a pleasure, how could it be so bad?

Fact is, we love money. We all do. We love it because we know pretty well how sweet life tastes when you have it. Money gives you the freedom to be whoever and wherever you want. Wouldn’t you fancy that great car, or a trip around the world, or an incredible mansion to live in? Of course, you would. But only a few of us would admit how much they actually love money and how much they crave having it. That hypocritical attitude is mainly due to our upbringing. For some reason we were cradled with the concept that money is bad. And it’s bad because it spoils people. Makes them turn from good to bad. At least that’s the reasoning why you shouldn’t have money and how that contradicts to being a good person. I could add to that, however, that being good or bad has nothing to do with money. You could be spoiled even if you lived in humble circumstances. Analogically, you could be wealthy and help people in need, right? Right. In any case, you don’t have to live in scarcity. Why would you if you could avoid it? Universe is ever-listening and all-giving, why wouldn’t you take it? Give me one reason why you don’t deserve to have what you want. Alright, two reasons. 🙂

My point is that the expression of kindness and goodness greatly depends on your personality and not on wealth. And it’s not the same to give one buck for charity purposes if you have a hundred and give away the same amount if you only have two. So yes, money could assist you in spreading love one way or another and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong to enjoy money or want it. Money is means as any other. It could be used to create good or bad as any other tool we have at our disposal. The manner to use it exclusively depends on our own concept of money. So answer these questions. What is money for you? Do you believe you have enough of it? Would you use some more? And if yes, do you believe you’re bad because you want money? Do you consider this wrong? And the answer to the last two is “no”. There’s not even the slightest need to feel bad, greedy or guilty about wanting money. But if you feel that way, you should  consider altering your concept of money. What if you truly and deeply believed money is a good tool to provide you with happiness, positive emotions, and good experience? Money could indeed bring you some pleasure. Agree? Yes? So accept it. Stop fighting with yourself and you could  live in abundance. And if you feel gratitude for all that you already have, you’ll only get more. Transforming your very idea of what money really is could help you achieve that. Think of it this way, you already have everything you need at your disposal. You have all the tools to have everything you ever dreamed of and be as happy as you could be. Don’t worry about the how, Universe will take care of that. She always does, if only you are clear in what you want. Otherwise, you might get an awkward mixture of all the things you kinda wanted. To get back to the point, you can have anything you want. Anything. You just have to request it. How? Picture it. Visualize it. Feel it happening. Feel the emotion of already having what you’re craving. Let me tell you how it works. If you constantly repeat to yourself: “I want money. I want money. I want money.”, that’s exactly what you’re gonna get. Universe is gonna give you the “want”, i.e. you’ll experience penury. On the other hand, if you act like you already have enough money for everything you want, that’s what She’s gonna give you. Try visualizing yourself having lots of money. Imagine yourself buying all that you want, spending money, giving it away. Study, travel, enjoy life, do whatever you want. Imagine how happy that would make you feel and put as much emotion as you can into that picture. This is the key, you have to make it as emotional as possible, that’s all you need to see it materializing into your own reality. You could practice this type of visualization during meditation or just in quiet times when you’re on your own and no one and nothing would interrupt you. Try to gradually relax your body. Quiet your mind. Let go of any thoughts, don’t fight them, just gently let them go. And when you feel you’re calm enough, you could start the practice. Start seeing things exactly the way you want them to be. And then… just enjoy the abundance!

Addicted to life

Human beings are surely inclined to various types of addictions. Among others, they could easily get addicted to food, drugs, tobacco, alcohol, gambling, Internet, gaming, shopping, or work. Not to mention chaos, order, drama, other people, or sex. We get so easily attached to substances, devices and certain behavior that I’m pretty sure some alien species somewhere is laughing so hard right now at our mere idea of fun. Self-destructive fun. Yes, we do get attached. And not just attached, over-attached. Our human nature makes us overly vulnerable, but it certainly takes a human to make an addiction out of an attachment. In any case, quantitative changes usually lead to qualitative changes and most addictions have irreversible effects. Nevertheless, getting rid of a bad habit is never that easy. Quitting smoking or drinking, for example, sometimes seems like the torments of Tantalus. But why is it so hard? Paradox is, that we are given a strong free will. It’s actually strong enough to make miracles happen and yet, we often fail to deal with our own little flaws even though it’s us who have created them in the first place and we are fully aware that our little habits are slowly killing the bodies we dwell in. It doesn’t matter what type the addiction is, we are absolutely conscious of the adverse effects. But why are we slaves to our own habits and is it possible for us to regain control over our minds?

It is for a fact that some people are more susceptible to addictions than others and that for some it’s much more easier to fall into that trap. Whether it’s smoking, drinking, gambling, or else, addiction is the only prison where the locks are on the inside. Normally, there’s no one around to force us do this or that, it’s that little voice in our heads telling us that we want it. And that we want it now with an exclamation mark. This is very typical for instance when you try to quit smoking and one of the main reasons to fail. The typical pattern of behavior implies an emotional trigger. Something annoys us or makes us angry and we crave a smoke. We do believe that having that smoke will comfort us and will bring us emotional calm. So if we’re not determined enough, we have it and then we feel guilty about it, blaming ourselves for our weakness.

But let me tell you this, you are not weak. Even if you succumb to the temptation of a bad habit you’re fighting, you are not weak. But to be able to deal with it, first you need to understand how your mind works. This is crucial to avoid possible failure and that feeling of guilt that makes everything harder and even worse. So start by understanding that you have an obsession and you have that obsession because your subconscious mind thinks that certain activity that you try so hard to avoid is rewarding or pleasurable. Let’s take smoking, for example. You try to quit. But then the craving comes and you just can’t help it. You want that cigarette and it’s very likely you break down and eventually have it. Why? Because while your conscious mind knows that smoking is a deadly habit, your subconscious mind considers it a pleasure. You actually perceive having a smoke as enjoyable. You love your first coffee in the morning with a smoke, you reward yourself with a cigarette to relax after hard and stressful situations, most probably you have it after meals and sex as a part of the ritual. In fact, deep inside you think smoking is something good. And this very contradiction could be the reason for your failure to quit time and time again. What to do? Reprogram your mind.

There are different ways to do that. One, you could use recordings with subliminal messages. There’s a variety of them available online for various addictions, problems, and issues. You could use them even to feel positive or sleep better. Just look around. Two, you could use particular meditation techniques to avoid or provoke certain behavior, to choose how you react to particular situations. This could really help you get to the source of your problem and counteract. Remember, there’s no such thing as unbeatable addiction and you can regain control over your life whenever you want to. You just need the proper motivation and you have to believe that you can. And if you do, you’re half way there. And why not get addicted to life instead? Get addicted to happiness, smiles, and love. Now that’s what I call a beneficial addiction.

Soul bridge

Sometimes you meet a person and it’s like you’ve known them for all of your life. You feel that deep connection as you’ve already met them before, as you’ve already talked and shared something great and special in some past life. Some call it love from first sight, I call it “Welcome back to my life”. You meet them and you start communicating as you already know all there is to know about each other, naturally revealing common interests one after another. It seems like the two of you were friends, members of the same family or even lovers some time before and it’s past question that here and now this connection is fully present and extremely palpable. And it’s obviously strong enough to overcome time and space and cause this déjà-vu you are experiencing, strong enough to remind you that you’ve already been there and done that. It’s like your souls speak a language of their own and none of you needs words to explain or prove or justify it, you just know. Both of you. Because it has happened before. This is the type of soul connection that touches an invisible, yet sensitive part of you and everything just clicks in place. And this bond, this connection, is pure magic revealed.

But how is that even possible? I’ve never asked myself that question. All of my life, I just knew. I didn’t have to ask to know, I felt. And I’ve always felt that there was something huge and special going on. That it was just there, no matter if I could explain it or not. As a young girl, I believed in Prince Charming. As a teenager, I believed in love from first sight. Later on, already a woman, I had my true epiphany on what love really is – unconditional, ever-giving and forgiving – which greatly supported my girlish theory of soul mates. But all along, there was this inner belief inside of me that there was always a greater plan, a greater design, and I somehow formed a decent part of it. That deep inside, I had this almighty tool to connect to other souls in some other dimension on some other, higher level. And yet, the real magic I found to be manifested when the other person remembers that connection too. One look and it’s all so clear. No questions or answers required, you both feel it. When I remember, it’s like a place I’ve already seen. A fragrance I’ve scented before. A feeling I’m familiar with. A person I’ve already loved. Some souls choose to stay with their loved ones always and forever, time after time again, life after life. That reminds me of a commercial I once saw. Of a fragrance, I reckon. A man and a woman together in different lifetimes and the woman always gets killed, different scenes and different times, but all the same outcome. Until the happy ending, of course.

At the end of the day, love is all there is around and that’s where we all originate from. Love is the only thing to survive and conquer it all. This connection between people reminds me of a bridge of hearts. A soul bridge. Some people got me universally interconnected that way. I can feel  them as I’d feel myself. I’d know when they are happy, sad, lost, down, hurting even from a distance. When I open that gate in my heart, that connection becomes a two-way street. Interconnection. I am the sender and the receiver at the same time. I’m on that bridge of thought and emotion. The bridge of energy. No bridge, however, could remain intact. So I’ve noticed. For one reason or another, sometimes we choose to burn it. And the moment you cut off that connection on heart level, it’s all off. No more emotion and energy exchange, it’s almost like a switch off. It happens. But what’s beyond doubt is that everyone you truly cared for and who loved you back, will stay in touch. They will come back to you in this life and the next one and the next one. You’ll find the way to each other again. Because you are interconnected.

So next time when you meet someone who makes you feel like home, know that this is not a fortuitous even. It just can’t be. There’s no way you could know a person ten minutes after meeting them. And there’s only one way you could feel comfortable with a stranger. If this is not a stranger. So greet them with a big smile and tell them: “Welcome back to my life”.