Behind the scenes: Online dating

In a globally connected world, it’s no mystery that the Internet is… well, connecting people. People all over the world, all age groups, all kinds of personalities, a variety of interests. The virtual land of unlimited opportunity. The genuine realm of communication. The place to find new friends and accomplices, to share the same passion or discover a new one. A world of options on a 24’’ screen. Internet is the place for business and of course, to date.

In an environment where we make payments, earn a living, and order food online, it seems pretty natural that we seek to find love online, too. And why not? Why not try finding our soul mate on the Internet, since we are given so many options to do so? And the bunch of dating sites available make it seem quite easy, too.

So, this is how it basically goes.

Day 1. You finally decide to give online dating a shot. You pick a site and create an account. Put a profile photo, fill in some info about yourself here and there, and you start waiting impatiently for the One to come get you. But they wouldn’t. The darn bastard is horribly quiet. As if to compensate and provided that you’ve picked one of the coolest and hottest among your pics, you get a number of “hey sexy” messages and a few direct sex offers. You’re still full of hope and somewhat feeling adventurous, so you decide to check up on the relevant profile just to make sure. Well, at the end of the day, it seems you’re not that adventurous as you previously thought, so you run away scared, closing the browser.

Day 2. Your phone app joyfully informs you that you’ve got @ new messages! “Wow, cool!”, you think, so you go check them. Some Turkish guy asks you to go visit. Some Indian looking 15 finds you lovely. Somebody without a profile picture insists on you giving them your phone number. Nothing from the love of your life. You sigh on the inside and tell yourself that love takes time. You politely reply to the Indian to say thanks (after all, it was so nice of him!) and ignore the sender with no pic.  Consider if you should reply to the Turkish guy, then decide it’s a waste of time.

Day 3. The app says your profile has been checked @ times! You’re delighted. Seems like there’s some hope. Logging in, you receive an angry message from the Turkish. He saw you online and apparently finds the lack of a reply insulting and girls like you unworthy of his attention in general. You ignore him. The Indian is trying hard to start some conversation asking you about your interests. This time you don’t bother replying. Ten minutes online and you’re offered a threesome. Thrilling… but no.

Day 4. You decide to take matters into your own hands or at least give fate a helping kick in the arse, by looking for the love of your life yourself. You start browsing profiles. If the app allows so, you specify a few criteria to limit search results based on what exactly you’re looking for. Taking the initiative, you message a few people that you find kinda cute. In the meantime, you receive a message from a person having a strong BDSM reference as a profile picture, a dog lover, and by someone who tends to display their six pack. On all six pictures.

Day 5. You have a message from one of your objects of interest and the Turkish is back, insisting that you must pay him some attention! He’s a good guy after all! That’s when you discover the block option. Full of hope, you read the important message, just to find out that the guy is married and he’s only looking for some fun (such honesty is quite rare, by the way, as you find out later on). A few other insignificant messages in your inbox, but nothing special. The hunt is on.

The next few days you spend browsing random profiles, replying to random messages and occasionally blocking a few profiles. At that point, your faith in finding love online is a bit shaken. So you find one or more online dating sites, where the story follows more or less the same pattern. You spend hours of your life revealing your interests in detail, trying to get to know the other person and eventually you might find new acquaintances or even go on a date. And maybe, just maybe, your blind date might end up into something pretty nice. If you get very lucky.

The general truth of online dating is that people lie. They might lie about their age, their interests, preferences, marital status, and even put someone else’s picture as their own. The Internet gives you the freedom to be anyone, anywhere, and that’s why it’s so hard to find what you’re looking for. Regardless of the numerous opportunities it provides, you should always keep in mind that most often than not, things are not what they might seem. As a rule, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. In rare cases, however, it is possible to find a person that just “fits you like a glove”. History knows cases when people meet online (on a dating site or not), they start communicating and it all just clicks. They start chatting, calling each other, exchanging pictures, sharing opinions on various subjects and discovering they have a lot in common. It seems they always have something more to say to each other, so it goes on and on and finally, hoping for the best expecting the worst, they meet. And when they do, they both realize that it was meant to happen. That this encounter was not accidental, that there was a deeper meaning to it, so they start revealing it, gradually and enjoying each step of the way.

To conclude, it is for a fact that the Internet has never connected so many people worldwide, but at the same time it disconnects them more than ever. Beyond all question, tête-à-tête contact remains the best way to get to know to a person, but finding your soul mate online is not that ridiculous as it might seem. It has worked for many people and keeps working. So go and give it a try (but bear all of the above in mind) and who knows what might happen? After all, life is unpredictable.