If not now, when?

Here’s a little follow-on of my previous article on dreams and expectations. This time, it’s dedicated to waiting. Waiting as a rule.

For most of us, there’s some odd, yet familiar proclivity to always postpone things. When we want something, we often tend to delay actions in time instead of just doing what’s necessary to get it. In general, we prefer waiting to acting. Because it’s easier. And there’s this morbid “when” attitude in everything we do: “When” I get a better job, I will take the time to do what I want. “When” I retire, I will have the time for my hobby. “When” winter’s over, I’m hitting gym again. “When” I finish this urgent project and I’m calm again, I’ll stop smoking. “When” I have more money, I will travel more. Well, the last one obviously requires some financial resources, but you got my point. It’s always this “when I finish this, I’ll have that” structure. We spend all of our lives waiting. But waiting for what? Basically for this or that event, that particular milestone, which (as we expect) would change the course of our lives and set us free. But guess what? This might never happen. You’re waiting for a train, which might never come and you’re left waiting at the train station caught between yesterday and tomorrow, wondering why today seems wrong.

Maybe it’s out of fear that our plans might never see the light of day. Maybe it’s this uncertainty we hold on to for some reason, convincing us that now it’s not the time. Not the right time, not the right place, ever. And what we do is, cling to the memories of the past, hoping for a better future, forgetting that from we stand now, they both are irrelevant. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow might never come. All we have is now, that current moment we tend to constantly underestimate and neglect. We spend this moment, making plans for the future, but what if there’s no future? Who knows what happens next? And what makes you think everything will work out as you planned it? Why stick to that “one fine day” concept, when you’ll finally have the time and means to travel, grow vegetables, carve wood, or attend dance classes? Who could guarantee you that after that particular preset period you’ll be able to make all this happen? No one.

And as a matter of fact, constantly living in the illusion of tomorrow destroys our present. This vacillation between a long gone past and the non-existing future nourishes our indecisiveness and unwillingness to act. To act now. And we let ourselves believe that later on our time will come. But living in our world of obscure plans brings dissatisfaction on a deeper level. In times of privacy, when we are all alone, we feel that inner discontentment, often without even being aware of the reasons. It’s like something just doesn’t feel right. And it can’t be any other way – your soul’s unsatisfied. She wants more of you.

Technically speaking, we spend most of our days at work, dealing with our daily routine. So busy and running around the clock. But deep inside, we are unhappy. Unhappy to wait, unhappy to put up with all the things we dislike, just for the sake of a dream planned for some distant future moment. And yet, we manage to find all the excuses. We don’t have the time. We don’t have the money. We don’t have the opportunity. So we put all those wishes of the soul on the back burner for some better time. But is all this waiting any good? What if you were not meant to be an accountant, for example, but an artist or a musician, or a writer? What if this was your initial design, your genuine vocation? Your soul knows that and she’s speaking to you, but nobody would listen.

And tell me this, if not now, when? And if not you, who? Who else would make your dreams come true? Who else could give your soul what she needs? Who else could put that effort? Nobody. Because it’s all up to you. And it’s all now. So forget about the incessant plans for tomorrow, for Monday, next month, next year, 10 years from now. Change this disrupting attitude once and for all and act now. Do something nice for yourself. Forget about all that waiting and act now. Because, you know what? You’ll always be busy. You’ll always be too tired. You’ll always need more money to fulfill your plans. And that moment you were waiting for, it doesn’t even exist. So don’t look for excuses, because you’ll find them. Don’t let your reasoning mind stop you. Don’t listen. Now is the time. Today is the day. Do something. Meet new people. Laugh more. Read a book. Write a song. Draw something. Meditate. Go out. Take a walk. Feel the energy of nature recharging you. Do something nice for your health. Treat your body. Eat fruit and vegetables. Take the stairs. Hit the gym. Go see that movie. Ask that girl on a date. Live now. Live today. Not tomorrow, not next month. Today. Just take the time and do this. Take thirty minutes or an hour for yourself a day and soon enough you’ll feel the difference. You surely deserve it and your soul will be grateful.